My 2008 Predictions

The other night I took some ambient and smoked some crack, I ate clam strips with vodka mixted with Kool aid and fell asleep. I woke up around 3a.m. I couldn't fall back to sleep. I tossed and turned but was plagued with vivid visions of the future. I saw the future and it freaked me out. I will now reveal what I saw, my 40 predictions of 2008 as I experienced it, be warned 25% of this will come true.

1. Morgan will get a job.
2. There will be an earthquake somewhere in California
3. A Mexican guy will steal something
4. A black guy will shoot someone
5. An Asian will drive way too slow
6. A white guy will act like a Mexican, a black guy, and an Asian and piss everyone off
7. I will lose more hair
8. Jenny will make a funny video, and we will all laugh
9. Hillary will be elected president, then reveille she is a Mexican and piss everyone off
10. Larry Craig will still "not be gay"
11. Dad will re-grow his missing tooth
12. Erin will break up with, then get back together with, then break up with, then get back together with, then breakup with, then get back together with, then break up with, then get back together with, then break up with, then get back together with, her "special friend"
13. The U.S. will win the war in Iraq
14. Amy will finally post a funny FHVN.
15. My blog will make more sense
16. The U.S.will lose the war in Iraq
17. A tsunami will strike the poor residents of Lake Mead
18. People will post comments on my blog
19. Jesus will return, then say "My bad, I'm early"
20. Katie will clean my house
21. There will be a Fox news alert
22. The U.S. will re-win the war in Iraq
23. The housing market will rebound
24. My black dog "whitey" will turn gray
25. Blue will be the new black
26. Atticus will grow more teeth, then bite my nipple
27. My beard will turn gray, then white, then Erin will get back together with her "special friend"
28. The U.S. will re-lose the war in Iraq
29. Land of the lost will be made into a major motion picture. And Marshall will accept the love between Will and Holly
30. The U.S. will call the war in Iraq a "draw"
31. Cars will fly
32. I will invent a new color called, "Bleenishick"
33. Cars will fall
34. Iraq will call the war "kinda cool"
35. A volcano will erupt somewhere in Hawaii
36. A school shooting will occur in Nampa, Dad will shoot back
37. People will realize that the Kroft Superstars was the greatest T.V. show EVER!!!!
38. The winning lotto numbers in March are 1 23 14 34 28 12 34 and the power ball is 17
39. Someone will read an annoying list of things
40. America, like Rome, will fall, because it spent all it's resources and money fighting a bogus war abroad and forgot about it's problems at home like border security, the deficit, immorality, Oprah, Dr. Phil, Oscar the grouch, cabbage, the pope, the color "bleenishick", Mexicans, gargoyles, robots, midgets, sock puppets, baldness, cancer, beady eyes, head-on(apply directly to the forehead), Britney Spears(and her sister), ear hair, restless leg syndrome, Hummers(the car, not the...you know), Hillary, Kami, Squishy poop, weak stream, baby boomers, yeast infections, public transportation, MTV, The Food network, QVC, filthy cloves' es, Fresno, Little Lee, cloggers, Muslims, Mormons and bloggers.

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I just smoked some more crack and have received another revelation for 2008.

41. Someone will be offended by some blog or comment on a blog and that will start a big family fight.